Learning to Live Again

Am I the only person who is disappointed when nothing magical happens at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

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It’s like I somehow think that life should have a gigantic reset button which automatically gets pushed when the ball drops at Time Square. Only it doesn’t, and each time I’m left thinking, “Well, crap, that was disappointing.”

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Every year I resist the urge to make resolutions because quite frankly I suck at dieting and exercise. So unless it’s suddenly become posh to resolve to eat more cheese and chocolate I am completely out of luck on that front.

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After the nightmare that my 2012 turned out to be, I somehow find myself making lots of lists – goals big and small that I want to accomplish. Resolutions if you will, despite myself.

And as long and completely irrational as my list is, they all boil down to one thing.

I want to be happy. Like honest to goodness can’t wait to get out of bed and see what this day brings kind of happy.

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I feel like I’m in limbo and I just keep waiting for something to happen and then I’ll be happy. Like if I just get divorced then I’ll be happy. If I could go home to Maine for a visit then I’d be happy. If, if, if…

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Somehow in all the stress of the last few years it’s like I’ve completely forgotten how to let go and just be in the moment.

So that’s it, my one and only resolution for 2013 – to learn how to find joy in my everyday life.

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It starts with making time each and every day for the things I love. So here I sit with a cup of hot tea, listening to Joshua Bell, editing photos of a hike to one of my new favorite places, blogging about how crazy I’ve turned out to be, and hoping that 2013 will be an amazing year. Although truth be told, I’ll be happy if it just sucks less than last year!

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Comments

  1. 1

    I really wish you have a wonderful year. Usually, I tend to make everything really complicated to find out at the end (over and over again) that the only way to be happy is enjoying the here and now. I’ve got a feeling this year will be different, I hope it is for you too :-)

  2. 2

    I wish happiness for you, too! You have given me joy today with your post…I checked your site about 48 hours ago….wondering how you are. I’m glad to see you again, my friend!

  3. 3

    Friend, this will be your year! Someone as kind, caring and nice as you deserves all the happiness the world has to offer. I know it is heading your way, even if it is taking its time to get there. I promise, this year will serve you well.

  4. 4

    I have all the faith in the world that this will be your year of awakening because you want it to be and will make it so. So glad you’re on your way to happiness. Have missed you.

  5. 5

    Do you know I dropped by your blog just yesterday? I have not dropped by since your last post, but I saw your picture on google + and said let me see if I missed anything on her blog. I thought to myself when I saw the last post, I hope it’s going better for her… she deserves it. Well, I’m glad that you are back to let us know that your are okay and still got hope in your heart. Finding happiness is not be like winning the lottery… but nothing worthwhile ever is that easy. You will get there… just do what you are doing…. enjoying the moments of the day. Maybe keep a journal and write down 3 things that were good, okay and maybe totally didn’t suck. :) I hope and wish you a mountain of happiness this year… if you get at least one a day that’s 365, right. Keep your chin up… you’re strong because you already made it through 2012!

  6. 6

    Hey you! I have thought about you lately, and wondered how you were. Glad to see you again. Hope you are doing well, and that you can find happiness today and every day!

  7. 7

    So glad to see you!!! Thanks for the introduction to Joshua Bell too – lovely!

  8. 8

    Blogging can be therapeutic but sitting too long on the computer will get you nowhere. Do yourself a favor and get outside. Join an exercise class even if you don’t exercise. The endorphins you get from exercising will make you feel alive. You’ll meet people and make friends.

    Of course I say this without catching up on what’s happened in your life but I’m sure most of us can relate to feeling down at one time or another. You’re a beautiful woman with a lot going for you. Believe in yourself and make life happen. You’re the only one that can make the difference. Do something outside the realm of Jen. Hang in there!

  9. 9

    I just started to follow you when you went offline for awhile, and just a couple of days ago I visited your site again. I was so glad to see a new post from you! New year, new post, take baby steps and enjoy the moment! Being outdoors is so refreshing. I see a sense of calmness in your beautiful photos.

  10. 10

    It was so good to see your comment on my site today! I was just thinking about you recently and even stopped by to see if you’d decided to jump back into it yet. I know you’ve had a really rough year but the desire to be happy will bring you happiness. i know it!

  11. 11

    I wish you happiness and everything you are hoping to come true in 2013.

  12. 12

    Jen…I am so happy to see you! You have been in my thoughts and I hope this is a wonderful year for you. Life is funny and you never know what things are out there ready to cause you immense happiness! Just keep your heart open. Be good to yourself….(like drinking tea and listening to Joshua Bell….who I LOVE!). And just so you know…….I set my ‘reset’ button every morning! : )

    • 13

      Keeping your heart open is the hardest part after so much hurt. Sometimes I just want to box it up and keep it safe. But someone one told me that the greatest distance between two points is time, and as more time passes the more I can let go of and the happier I feel.

  13. 14

    Jen, I was THRILLED to see a post from you!!!! It sounds like you are in a good place now…and I only wish you continued contentment in 2013. I know there are good things in store for you…hang in there, my friend! You have been missed. xo

  14. 16

    I have missed you, Jen!!! I have wandered over here during the last few months, wondering how you are. It’s good to hear from you. I hope that you and I and Ann can manage a lunch together soon.

    • 17

      I would love to Kristen. I’ll get in touch via twitter and see if we can arrange a date. Maybe you guys can come up and have lunch at the restaurant where I work now…

  15. 18

    Hey, stranger! :)
    I’m always waiting for that magic New Years Eve moment too- every. single year. I’m thinking that if it doesn’t happen at the onset of a new year, maybe fresh starts can just happen any time, on any lazy Wednesday afternoon. Living in the moment is an excellent start.

    2013 has a fearless, crisp little edge to it- I think it’s going to be wonderful. xo

  16. 20

    Your goal for this year sounds perfect – Welcome back!

  17. 21

    Hi Jen!! So glad to see you back!! From this post I can tell you are on the way to happiness. I wish you all the best! We missed ya!! :) xoxo

  18. 22

    Welcome back! Here is to happiness. And a glass of wine!

  19. 23

    Hey Darlin! Yes, it has been a while. I truly hope that you do have a better 2013 than 2012, but even though you had such a crappy 2012 it’s good to see that you managed to maintain your sense of humor. I had to laugh and totally agree about the resolution to eat more cheese and chocolate! That’s about the only resolution that sounds good to me too. :) Your pictures are absolutely lovely and I think this is a place that you need to visit often. When you see the beauty in your surroundings, you can see the beauty in yourself. Have a wonderful week my friend and glad to be back in touch!

  20. 25

    I was really happy to see your comment on my post. It was funny you mentioned chicken teriyaki post in the comment, because whenever this dish name comes up, I think of you. :) Wishing you a wonderful and happy 2013! xoxo

  21. 26

    Jen,
    I’m so happy that you stopped by my blog to reconnect. Your ears must have been burning because I was just thinking about you last week.

    Like you I struggle to live in the moment and just take each little blessing for what it’s worth. I’m a HUGE ‘if, if, if’ (as well as a ‘what if’) girl too. I wish you a most fabulous 2013 filled with tonnes of little blessings that you’ll notice and take for what they’re worth. Because it’s those little blessings and small positive moments that will hold you up on your not so fabulous days.

    I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog posts and seeing your fantastic humour injected into them. Here’s to a wonderful 2013!!

  22. 28

    welcome back!! hope you have a wonderful 2013! i’ve become so cynical about experiencing a magical moment at midnight on new years that i just go to bed at like 10 to avoid the whole letdown lol.

  23. 30

    Oh Jen you have no idea how happy I am to see you blogging again. I really have missed you these past couple of months.

    I hope you find your happiness, and maybe take us (your readers) with you.

    As for New Years I do often think something spectacular will happen, alas it is just late and I am tired :)

    Looking forward to future posts and hopefully some yummy food (you always did have some of the best photography).

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