Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were afraid to try it simply because you were afraid to fail at it for fear that it would ruin the dream?
For me blogging ranked right up there on the top of the list! I enjoyed it, and I certainly stank at it badly enough when I started. In time it became something I really enjoyed – from the baking and photographing to the writing, and especially the friends I’ve been so fortunate to “meet” along the way.
I came to realize that I wanted more. I wanted my blog to be something more. More personal, more professional, more functional… Just more.
So I did what any self-respecting nerd would do and I researched. I researched blog design and designers, WordPress Plugins, social media, you name it and I read up on it.
And then I took the plunge! I went from this…
For some reason I felt like getting my blog accepted by the BlogHer Publishing Network would be like receiving a giant seal of approval, that personal validation I had been seeking. As if it would somehow prove to me and to others that I really could do this.
The only problem was, well me. I was scared to pull the trigger and actually submit it to them.
What if they said no?
Then where would I be? My pride (or maybe it was purely my ego) wasn’t quite ready for that blow.
After all, this wasn’t like trying to take up knitting or something. If I tried to knit and I stank rotten eggs at it (which incidentally I do) well then I’d say, “oh well” and try something else like rubber stamping. This meant so much more to me on a personal level though, and if they said no, I felt like it would put a damper on what I had finally decided that I wanted so badly.
So what changed?
It took having one of those days, like a great hair day but for your ego, when I felt like I was ready. I’d made the changes I’d wanted to my blog, I’d researched and studied, and my photography skills were getting better. I felt like I could do it.
And not to be too corny, but it was like that song from Wicked, it was “too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. It’s time to try defying gravity.”
And so in one quick moment, before I could change my mind, I clicked submit.
I felt strong and empowered, so full of control of my own destiny for the first time in SO long!
And then I woke up the next day. Self-doubt slowly began to creep back in as I started to question whether or not I’d completely lost my mind! (Still not totally sure on that one.) What had I done?
It was too late though. I’d submitted the blog, and there was nothing to do but wait. And wait. And wait a little more.
On January 4th, I opened my email to find a message from BlogHer waiting there in my Inbox. I was excited and scared at the same time – this was it, and there wasn’t anything else to do but to read it and face the music.
There is was!
“Greetings from the BlogHer Publishing Network! Your blog looks like a great fit for our network.”
The rest was all totally lost on me while I tried hard to quell the urge to scream for joy (since it was like 1:00 in the morning when I read it).
Looking back, it’s easy to wonder what on earth I was so scared about. Yes, they could have said no.
But if I hadn’t submitted my blog, they never could have said yes either!
*Just a note to say thank you to the people at the BlogHer Publishing Network for giving me the opportunity to be part of such an extraordinarily talented group of bloggers!