I am a rock.
No, actually, that’s not true.
Not today. Today I am a mushy gushy ball of emotional mess.
You see I had a biopsy done on Tuesday afternoon on my forehead and on the tip of my nose to check for skin cancer. They kind of hurt like nobody’s business, and they had to do stitches. Eight of them. Right smack dab I the middle of my face.
Really!?
To make matters worse, my insurance will expire in about 30 days, so if the biopsy comes back positive I’m not really sure what I’ll do.
*Sigh*
I’m trying hard not to freak out. But truth be told, I’m a little bit of a drama queen, and I’m finding it hard not to wallow in self-pity.
A few years ago, my best friend Laurie gave me this little book called Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Everyday in Your Life. It’s a great little book which helps you slow down and focus your life and your thoughts around the positive in your life so that you may live with an attitude of gratitude.
Boy was that a book I needed to drag out this morning!
It’s my choice – focus on the negative and wallow in self-pity or focus on the blessings in my life and be filled with joy and gratitude.
So for today I will be grateful that I have health care now, and as of yet no real reason to be worried.
I am a rock!
Even if it’s a kind of weathered looking scraggly one…
Sending you good thoughts. All will be well.
Thank you Anita!
And I’ve found that drama queens, even though they sometimes let the little things overwhelm them, are often the most stable and strong when it really matters and the big things hit.
I hope everything turns out alright.
That might be the nicest spin on being a drama queen I’ve ever heard! I may have to memorize that!! Thanks Valerie.
Thinking of you Jen.
Thanks Billie-Jo! I’m hoping I’m just being a worry wart and a big baby!
Oh, Jen. I’m praying for your biopsies, for the pain and for your stress and fear. No, we’re not rocks, but God is and if we stand on Him, we can weather anything.
So very true!
Oh Jen… I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you get only good results. I always believe that God does not give us more than we can manage and with every hurdle in life there is something we gain. I know it doesn’t always seem like it when we are going through it at the moment. I will send good vibes your way until I see a post from you that it’s all going good again.
Sending you a big hug!! ~ Ramona
I know exactly what you mean – sometimes it’s hard to see a higher purpose in the midst of struggle but later it’s so clear we wonder how on earth we missed it. Thanks for the hugs Ramona! Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
You’ll be in my thoughts, Jen. I find that when something nasty crawls into my life, I can either obsess over it (which I quite often do) and eventually move on to a new distraction, or I can admit when something is out of my control and force myself to focus on something else – as you said, the blessings in my life. You’re absolutely right – the choice of how we live our lives is ours.
It’s a fine balance isn’t it!? I find just ignoring it doesn’t help, but neither does totally indulging. You just have to make a choice, and sometimes make it again and again.
My husband just finished a bout with skin cancer on his face — too much sunning in his early days without sunscreen. (Who knew?) Caught early, good surgeon and a little time. Wishing you all the best. Sounds like your self-talk is doing a great job.
Hope your husband feels better now! If only we really heeded the warnings we got when we were younger, eh?
*hugs* I wish you the best of results, and I can relate to the drama queen inclinations
Hang in there, and your attitude sounds wonderful!
Thanks Kiri! It goes back and forth truth be told, but I’m trying! That should count for something…
Oh my gosh, your poor face! Sending positive thoughts that the biopsies will be negative.
Thanks! I’m really hoping the plastic surgeon did a good job and it won’t leave scars…
Hope all is well Jen! I’ve gone through a similar situation, you are a rock!
Hopefully things came out well in the end for you!
Good thoughts that everything will work out okay! Think positive thoughts!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You are a rock, Jen! Think positive. Sending you a big hug…
Thanks Marina! I’m trying!! Believe me…
Oh, Jen! When I saw you today – it seemed like you didn’t want to talk about it. I’m SO sorry – and you’ll be in my prayers! Call or email if you need to talk….and you ARE a rock!
I didn’t really Ann! I was so glad for the distraction actually! The food was incredible, and I had the best time catching up and getting to know Jessica a little. She was SO sweet!
You are a rock indeed Jen!!! STAY STRONG!! Your blog friends are here to support you and help you in anyway!!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!!
Thanks Sandra! I really appreciate it!
You are NOT a drama queen! However, you are awesome and a seriously positive rock! I’ll think of you over the next few weeks and I hope everything turns out positively, I know it will!
Thanks Kim! But I can freely admit, I am a bit of a drama queen! Not just about this, but about most things…
I totally understand what you’re going through, last year I had two biopsies done and it was scary but what helped me a lot was a dream I had that I went to the doctor and she said ” everything came back negative” so I held on to that dream and everytime I started to freak out, I remembered that dream. Create a dream like that for yourself and remember it everytime you are feeling insecure ( once you create it, the mind cannot tell if it really happened or not, to it it’s real!). Best of wishes
That’s a great idea Ruth! Thanks for the encouragement!
Everything surely will be ok! Stay strong Jen!
Thanks! I hope so!
Oh Jen, I’m sorry! Praying for you and your family!!!
Thanks Sommer! I’ll take all the prayers I can get!
Fingers and everything else crossed that this is a false alarm. So sorry you have to be going through this.
Thanks! I’ve got more than a few things crossed myself!
You will be in my thoughts this week. You sound a lot like me. Just know that having a family and juggling a blog is a lot of work. You do marvelously with both. Know that no matter what might come your way you will be able to handle it.
Thanks Emily! My mom always used to say that God will never give you anything you can’t handle, but I always think it would be nice if he didn’t test me so dang much!
thank you for sharing something so personal with us. Even though we are the often anonymous and faceless cloud that surrounds your life, each of us are sending energy and love to you.
Thank you! So true and yet we are all still connected in so many ways.
Jen
Keeping you in prayer. Hope the biopsy results are favorable.
We all go through blue times, you are not alone. Reading about gratitude helps me too.
Have a great weekend!
Thank you Robyn! I’m grateful for all the prayers I can get!
I love your outlook on this! And I am also keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Thanks Stephanie!
Jen, I didn’t see this till today. I will be thinking of you and waiting to hear good news from your docs. The waiting part really sucks but I’m sending my love your way and know you will be fine
I am thinking good thoughts for you! I am out of work and don’t qualify for unemployment benefits so I have been a ball of mess lately, too. Keeping fingers crossed for both of us!
I can only imagine how stressful that must be! I’ll be thinking of you and definitely, fingers crossed for you!
I’m sending you rock solid good wishes.
Jen, thanks for this post! I think all of us need to be reminded of being thankful for what we do have at the moment because some things in life make it so easy to be taken down. I’m glad you pulled the book out and are thinking positive. I’ve got lots and lots of positive thoughts traveling through the net in your direction. Lots and lots of hugs!
Thanks MJ! I’m so thankful for everyone’s support!
All the best Jen – I hope that things turn out for the best… take good care of yourself
I’m sending lots of good thoughts your way. Keep embracing your attitude of gratitude. You have lots of friends wishing you well.
Thanks Kristi! I appreciate them more than you know!
My Mom has had skin cancer as well, and I know those biopsys are no fun…and it can get spendy without insurance. Hope the biopsy results show nothing, I will keep you in my prayers!
Thanks Amy! Me too!
Jen, I had a biopsy done two years ago for some mistake of a doctor. I know going there is just scary. Everything will be alright. Sending you hug.
Thanks for the hug! I’m just hoping that it will be over soon and I can go back to my regularly scheduled life!
Sending happy thoughts your way.
Thank you Sandra! I appreciate it!
Oh Jen…I am sorry to hear about this! I am glad you are able to step back and look at the positives. It can only help you in the long run….and I give you credit….because I’d be having a big pity party for myself. But you know….you have every right to focus on taking care of yourself at this time. I will keep you in my prayers. And I will hope for the best for you. And if I can help you in any way Jen….you know I would gladly do so!
Thanks for all your well wishes Anne. I was so touched by your thoughtful email!
Thinking of you… rocks can get through anything (even scraggly ones).
Thanks Sarah! Very grateful!
Jen, I was trying to get into this post a few days ago but my Food Buzz links were messing up. I hope you will be okay. When I was about your age (guesstimating that), I had the same thing. It was nothing, but I was glad I got it checked. Living in the south and the fact that when we were kids we ran around all day in the summer in the sun with no sun screen put these things on our bodies as we get older. I will pray yours comes out like mine did.